he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
