you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
