who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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