I heard we made out
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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