I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
