I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
