my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize