ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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