You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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