haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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