i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
