Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
