thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
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I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
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According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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