So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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