I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
