LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
