..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Randomize
