Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
