you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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