I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think my moral compass just broke
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