ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
