Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
