Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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