so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Please don't give away my fajitas
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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