And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Green mimosas i think yes
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
