We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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