You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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