when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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