You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
