Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I got inside last night via doggy door
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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