For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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