I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
