I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Dick very happy bro
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
