No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
