That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm both gender and math confused
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
