If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
