She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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