you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
