He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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