The brown eye won't let me do that either.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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