my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
