Me too!
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
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you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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