the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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