So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
