I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
