omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you had me at cake vodka
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
