you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
