is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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