Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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