I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
