I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize