The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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