My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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