You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
