she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
