God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
