What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
