We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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