butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Farmville is her only friend.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
