He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
