I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
