ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
