Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
