I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she told me i tasted like america
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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