she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
