All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
