After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
