Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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