She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
