the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
