His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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