areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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