I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Randomize
