There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
