Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
