very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
