And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
